People always ask why I’m a veggie.

I don’t mind this at all.

It’s the questions that sometimes follow

That drive me up the wall.

“Why do you eat fish if you don’t eat meat?”

“How come you eat eggs and cheese?”

Cos like anyone else, I eat what I like!

Oh, leave me alone, PLEASE!

 

I never pretend to be any better

Than anyone who eats meat.

It’s every individual’s prerogative

To choose just what they eat.

Eating an animal’s like eating my dog!

It’s pure gut reaction, you see.

I eat fish because I can.

Perfect I don’t claim to be!

 

Of course if I stuck to principles

Then I wouldn’t eat fish,

But eating abroad can be limited.

Sometimes there’s no veggie dish.

My mum tried tempting me from my meal,

Seeming to get pleasure from it.

“Meat’s so succulent it melts in your mouth.”

I just wanted to vomit!

 

Colleagues tell me they wouldn’t miss meat,

They enjoy their vegetables more.

Then they eat their bacon sandwiches,

And I wonder what it all was for.

Four cooked dishes at a friend’s dinner do,

Containing meat there were three.

The omnivores liked the veggie dish,

Everyone had seconds but me.

 

I have attended lots of good buffets,

But it is best I get in quick.

Meat eaters like cheese as well

And, I guess, entitled to their pick.

Longer ago I was at an extensive spread,

Yet all I could eat was eggs.

A “friend” moralised on chicken farms.

I wanted to smack his legs!

 

He thought it only worth being a vegan,

On dairy farms the practises ghastly.

So that would have left me there then

With eating just sprigs of parsley!

So then of course I realised why

He was criticising me.

He was justifying why HE ate meat,

That was evident to see.

 

I accept I’m only part vegetarian.

This isn’t a perfect world.

It isn’t purely on principles,

I just can’t eat an animal or bird.

So please don’t ridicule my choices.

I’ll never ask why you eat meat,

Or preach to you of abattoirs,

I’m much too polite and sweet…..