My life is a lemon, always tart

A puckered grimace, day and night

Each twist and turn, a surprising burst of sour

Reflected in my watering eyes.

It's a jolt, a sudden sting.

 

Yet deep inside, a curious thrill delights

A thrill in the acrid bite.

The sharpest sting becomes a distracting game 

To keep me from a deeper ache

From vibrant chaos 

To drown out the whispers of my fear

To keep phantom pains from breaking through.

 

Sometimes I dream of silent shores

Of absolute quiet corners, a breath of calm

Of a place where air itself feels still

To vanish and fade

From all the world, and even me.

 

But then a chill, a sudden fear

The idea of true solitude, of being utterly alone

The thought of truly disappearing

For even with these bitter thoughts 

My lonely heart still longs for rest

Not in the void, but a gentle shared embrace 

To be alone, yet not truly.