H i g h s u m m e r .
O n a n a f t e r n o o n o f s t i l l h e a t
I l e a n o v e r a r e m e m b e r e d p a r a p e t
A n d s q u i n t d o w n, a l o n g s h i n i n g t r a c k s
A n d f o l l o w t h e m u n t i l , a t t e n u a t e d b y
d i s t a nce ,
T h e y r i s e t o m e r g e w i t h t h e h a z y h o r i z o n .
S u m m e r f i e l d s h a v e w h i t e n e d f o r h a r v e s t ,
D r o w s y c a t t l e l i e i n t h e c l u m p e d s h a d e o f o l d t r e e s :
A b o v e a l l , t h e r e s n o n o i s e -
R a r e i n d e e d i n t h i s j a r r i n g , g u t - w r e n c h i n g age
Y e a r s f a l l a w a y a n d I a m u n s h a c k l e d f r o m
t i m e
O n t h i s h o t , s i l e n t a f t e r n o o n ,
A n d i n m y r e v e r i e i t 's 1 9 5 9 a g a i n :
I 'm s t a n d i n g w i t h m y D a d , i n t h e s a m e s p o t ,
i n t h e s a m e h e a t .
W e a r e b o t h u n s u i t a b l y d r e s s e d : h e i n s p o r t s j a c k e t a n d f l a n n e l t r o u s e r s
A n d , a s a l w a y s , a s h i r t a n d t i e ; I' m i n s h o r t s a n d s c h o o l b l a z e r , s w e l t e r i n g .
A n d w e a r e w a i t i n g .
T h e r e' s a f a i n t r a t t l e a s t h e t a u t s i g n a l w i r e s t r e m b l e ,
A n d t h o u g h w e c a n' t s e e t h e s e m a p h o r e
W e k n o w w h a t t h i s m e a n s a n d p e e r i n t o t h e
b l u e d i s t a n c e ,
W a i t i n g f o r t h e e n g i n e 's a n s w e r i n g h o o t
A n d t h e s u d d e n w h i t e b l u r t o f s t e a m .
D a d s t r a i n s h i s e a r s t o c a t c h t h e d i s t a n t
t h u m p ,
S a y s i t' s n o t a t h r e e - c y l i n d e r b e a t : I h a v e n t a c l u e h o w h e k n o w s .
A b l a c k d o t i n s i n u a t e s i t s e l f o n t h e h o r i z o n , lslo w a n d p u r p o s e f u l ;
W h i t e a n d g r e y v a p o u r s s m u d g e , c l i n g , t h e n
d i s a p p e a r q u i c k l y i n t o t h e h o t a i r .
T h e t h u m p s h a r p e n s t o a b a r k , r h y t h m i c ,
p e r c u s s i v e ;
T h e d o t g r o w s t o a d e f i n e d s h a p e ,
A n d i n a h i s s i n g r u s h o f h e a t , g r i m e d,
m a r o o n a n d i m m e n s e p o w e r
T h e e x p r e s s t r a i n i s u p o n u s .
T h e c o a c h e s c l a t t e r a n d b a n g u n d e r t h e
s m o k e - d r i f t e d b r i d g e ,
I f u m b l e w i t h m y n o t e b o o k a n d b i r o .
D . H . L a w r e n c e w r o t e t h a t h e w e p t l i k e a
c h i l d f o r t h e p a s t .
I d o n t d o t h a t , a n d d i d n t t h a t s u m m e r
a f t e r n o o n
M o r e t h a n h a l f a c e n t u r y d o w n t h e t h i n g w e
c a l l t i m e
W i t h o u t h a v i n g t h e l e a s t u n d e r s t a n d i n g o f
w h a t i t i s .
B u t t h e e f f o r t l e s s r e c a l l o f s o m u c h t h a t
I h a d l o v e d a n d l o s t
W a s a s h o c k , a s u d d e n g a s p , a s h a r p p a i n . I t
ln g e r s o n a s a s w e e t a c h e .
Chris Proudfoot's parting present to me.
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Thank you SG. RM - he wrote this immediately before taking his own life (via a train, ironically enough). I decided to publish it exactly as he'd typed it.
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John Marks
Tue 10th Jun 2025 18:43
Thank you SG. RM - he wrote this immediately before taking his own life (via a train, ironically enough). I decided to publish it exactly as he'd typed it.