I do not understand why people still drive here!
How many cars do I have to crash to get some peace?
I think my actions have made my intentions quite clear:
I want all driving near Dartmoor to cease.

I am not a violent spirit, just a pair of hairy hands.
Before all the driving, I only was minding my business,
But I had to intervene before the madness expands.
I will not let them pollute Dartmoor, as God is my witness.

Mr. Hairy Hands fights for the environment.
Keep your planet-destroying machines away from my land.
To protect myself from ruin, I’ve joined the environmental movement.
Stay away from Hairy Hand Bridge, or you’ll get these hands!