What a wild weekend, blame the moon,
Some wine, some moves and a hotel room,
Two charming men, both said, ‘You are mine,’
But I said, ‘Boys, you need to form a line!’

One wore cologne that screamed success,
The other? Chaos in a female leather jacket,
They came, they saw, they…well, you know,
Then, something started to grow and grow!

The test said ‘positive,’ my jaw said ‘what?’
This oven had got a baby-bun hot,
But here was the twist, the final clue,
Not sure who was the dad, cannot be two!

He has got the lips, he has got the jaw,
But both had socks, which I had to gnaw,
Do I call Jeremy Kyle? Or Spin a wheel?
Or just pick the one with a better meal deal!