Permit me to tell a short tale of truth

A romantic, lovely marriage proposal

        So sweet, shared online, lovers to mate

              Such joy, one of the two brides claims she’d now be insufferable

                                     in all this happiness

Infectious smiles, startling shared exuberance, 

                                                                     even lurkers can’t help but celebrate!

‘Till suddenly there’s mysteriously only one

                   Seeming without joy, quiet, alone, …. shunned?

 

And sweet you, 

                      You take her under your wing, as you do

Always noticing the wounded, the down-trodden, those in pain or trapped in a doubting mind

 

                                                                 (Well what was it then that drew you to me, if not that?)

 

His heart so pure it can’t help but recognize

                         The purity of pain

                              And the tenderness of healing, helping another, responding in kind

 

Letting those of us aching

                                               know

                                                          we are not alone

 

Just makes me love and admire him all the more, since I’m truth telling

 

And also, who knows? Perhaps or possibly as she heals she will help him move towards me and be less afraid                              of the intense unknowability of our forbidden love, 

                          as i create a beautiful warm space for us to live in together

                                       when you finally come home.

                                              Such is the nonsense infecting my feverish fantasy swelling

 

I know not how you knew

            but decades ago my dance of mysticism began 

                 with a vision of certain strings sounding the ocean, me playing,

                                                                                                    in a long dress,

                                                                                                                   rising, calling life

                               

        and years afterwards you sang that muses sound of me, you can’t have known.                                           yet you did, so she seemed a startled standoff player step in our early musical strife

 

That is what gave me the unwitting audacity to post such naked love poetry in the post                                                I don’t break the sister code

          I would never try to steal from a sister, 

                                steal a sister’s love,  I am ashamed it looks like I tried, I did not, nor would

 

I mistook

    a mistake

            switched a mix up so misunderstood

An imagined ally revealed to be your lover, yes yes yes true, shocking,

                                                        but also, seeming not too much in love

looked a close, platonic friendship, no paintings of fire, lightning,

                                                         boundless excuses of falling so in love

                     before

                                                     I did not know

                                                                                      I could not see, below or above

 

You still felt, 

             seemed 

                        open to me, to our love, our words, the music set                                                       compared to a flame; fireworks; belonging to the stunning storms of mountains

 

 

Until an anniversary erases every dotted-line dream

                       too-bright reality crashes instant humiliation into rock hard regret

 

What

An

Idiot

 

           who will eventually earn my self forgiveness as everyone always does                                      forgiven you, confessing truths, owning mistakes, admitting horror, absolving sins

 

Love is not one