(And now for some literary high-brow.  Do try to keep up)

 

I bought my friend a tortoise

The best the shop could sell

He wondered what to name her

And settled on Michelle.

I have a Spanish girlfriend

For looks no one could beat her

She’s only got one front tooth

I call her my Juanita.

 

Oh,my! What a rotten song

What a rotten song

What a rotten song

Oh,my! What a rotten song

What a rotten singer too!

 

My mate is known as Justin

He’s ended his love drought

He says it’s better Justin

Than when it was just out.

My cousin she’s called Emma

Her full name she avoids

She doesn’t like admitting

That her surname it is Royds.

 

My English teacher’s Mr Peace

Ironic cos he’s foreign

And doubly so we think because

His Christian name is Warren.

And in my college classroom

There’s Tom Bowler (I like him)

Ophelia Cox and Holly Wood

My friend’s Amanda Lynn