An opportunity, school bullies never missed

An ingenuity, of rhyme they couldn’t resist

See Martin hadn’t he, slept with a girl or kissed

by time he in Year 3, were boys on Martin’s list

‘Oi! Martin Grist with your limp wrist!’

‘Oi! Martin Grist with your limp wrist!’

 

Like Martin Grist with his limp wrist, me too I liked a man

Out of us they took the fucking piss, my dad and sweet old nan

He’s gay they thought Prince Red Head Ed so no way they understand

To Sophie, he was getting wed, Dad limp wristed his hand

 

Like naked puppet

Dad, you muppet

Naked puppet

Dad, you muppet

 

I had to sit and squirm it

Dad doing naked Kermit

Like Sooty without clothes

His skeleton exposed

 

When I was boy, got so much joy, talking with my Sooty toy

 

What do you make of all that Sooty?

 

(Sooty whispers into my ear, I recite what he tells me)

 

Sooty! I can’t possibly repeat that!

Sooty says ‘Tell Martin Grist be proud of wrist and like you Lee, be proud to fist’

 

Sooty, you are the only thing I like to put my hand up!

Wristy Gristy Wristy

Fisty Gristy Fisty