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Keep Football Out of The Bedroom

A tense game played out at top volume.

Weeds three feet high,

make tidy play almost impossible.


A pass back short, away from the defender.

A collective lunge,

the ball skids high over our keeper.


Next thing I know I’m flat on the floor, 

water flying, books, electronics, 

in upended uproar. 


My desperate kick to save one for the team, 

caused me to crash out of my bed, 

and out of my dream.


My wife wondered what the noise was about.

I suggest foxes playing football,

in a late knockabout.


In a post-match interview, I was forced to admit, 

my poor back pass caused the commotion, 

and put me on my arse. 


◄ Encouragement

I Like to Be ►


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Greg Freeman

Tue 3rd Oct 2023 21:22

Great title! Not always possible, though.

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John Gilbert Ellis

Tue 3rd Oct 2023 18:57

Thanks Stephen!

You’ve given me a slightly disturbing image of a sheepskin coated, diminutive John Motson, microphone in hand, sitting atop the wardrobe and shouting ‘oh my word’ or similar.

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Stephen Gospage

Tue 3rd Oct 2023 07:42

Original and strangely disturbing, John. Was John Motson commentating?

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John Gilbert Ellis

Mon 2nd Oct 2023 14:50

Thanks Helene. Was the strangest of experiences to find myself on the floor having crashed out of bed.

Football does hold a ludicrous amount of obsession for so many, I should know being one of them!

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Mon 2nd Oct 2023 13:10

This poem made me laugh, John! My son and grandsons adore football;* I have no passion for it but enjoy seeing their enthusiasm. Falling out of bed to make a dream kick, water, books and electronics flying, bewildered wife--a great descriptive read.

Editing my my mind's eye I saw American football on my first read of the poem; later realized English football is what Americans call soccer (I think?!) Lol. Both forms of football inspire huge passion that's for sure!

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