It’s been a long twenty four hours, the kind that involves relentless sobbing and thoughts of rash decision making. I hadn’t intended for the day to end that way but my bottled up emotions demanded my attention. It isn’t easy faking it all the time, but I can’t walk around like a basket case, I have a decent amount of dignity left, I must savor it. 

I witnessed a version of myself I didn’t like. 

The wounded inner child fought like a switchblade, my skin torn to shreds, I still hear it now as it shrieks. 

Then, like an experienced narcissist I sipped from bottles with names I couldn’t even pronounce, trying to console mounds of internal conflict that hides ever so cleverly. 

When the world fell silent the only sound I could hear was the beating of my own cowardly heart as it raged against my ribcage. 

Is it a sin to forgive after you're dead? 

I hated everything and everything hated me

The night will soon end, the sun will wake and in my exasperated condition I will start again as a new chapter.  

The last thing I remember was slowly shutting my eyes and listening to the chaotic sounds of Tremors III blaring from the t.v., one of my dads favorites. 

I wrapped a blanket around my legs and pulled my knees up to my chin. 

I realize now that I find comfort in the strangest of things

However, at last I had found comfort, not long after that I finally found sleep.