Bumbling Mess

Bumbling mess of uncertainty

That’s me!

Raised to believe I was useless

If you say something nice

I will curtsy


Rumbling in clouds of doubt

Trying my best not to shout

Keep my voice low

Try not to show

Who I am


Cos who I am

Will never be good enough

You hate marmite

So I’d like to be

Strawberry jam


Trying to sweeten the pill

Knowing that you’ve had your fill

I am nothing

To no one;

The butt of the joke


Kind words make me choke

Looking over my shoulder

To see who you’re talking to

If it’s me

Then feel free to revoke


I know I am nothing

Tho I try to be something

But when I succeed 

I’m exhausted 

Cos the trying’s so hard


The voices won’t stop

They melt like sticky

Fat lard

All over my heart


I wish they’d been nice

I wish they had cared

I wish that their words

Didn’t curdle my life


I won’t let them win!

I will continue

To spin my yarns

I know they were wrong

So I’m desperately trying

To live a life

With open arms


I am so tired

My brain’s always wired

I’m fighting the ghosts

Despite the quagmire


But my name is Clare

I am the one who dares

Clear in thought



They never recognised

Those qualities 

In me!


◄ Cotton Candy Man.

The Tortured Poet. ►


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Kevin Tan

Sat 10th Jun 2023 23:19

You are strong & brave to be so vulnerable Clare. I hope my mother will get to that point one day. For now I keep on praying. Praying and praying. Glad you are here on WOL

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Fri 9th Jun 2023 19:45

Thank you so much for your responses to this, John Botterill and Helene. I want you to know that I am absolutely fine!😁. It’s just sometimes I find I have to dig deep to find the poetry.
I don’t always write from where I am, I write from where I have been. I really do appreciate your support.

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Fri 9th Jun 2023 16:39

Your poetry is an inspiration, Clare. Strength from brokenness. Such an important message, and so well-written. Keep writing!

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John Botterill

Thu 8th Jun 2023 22:07

It's hard to equate the ebullient poet I read with your description of yourself, Clare. It makes your phenomenal achievements all the more remarkable.

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