Poem 4.  Continuing the Tenter Hooks series of poems based on leaving an abusive relationship. This poem attempts to express some of the emotions experienced when you find yourself in a women's refuge. 
 

There’s a wait for the bathroom

With babe in arms, scavenged toiletries and one clean towel

We wait our turn

Some take longer than others

We don’t say very much

Tentative smiles

And under breath

Hi’s

 

We mostly avoid each other’s eyes

Something too personal

Too intrusive

For those who are here to hide

Strange that we share the same loo

But are not brave enough

To say how do you do

 

Babies are crying

The toddlers are restless

The older ones run wild

Some mothers have given up

It’s not to say they haven’t tried 

It’s just they are exhausted

And the kids are wired

 

Away from home

Away from family and friends

The unspoken question 

Hangs in the air

 

When will this end?

 

The kitchen is surprisingly small

When you consider how many mouths there are to feed

“You get one shelf in the larder 

But you must share a shelf in the fridge.”

She smiles as she speaks

“If I were you I’d do like I do

And keep your stuff in your room, otherwise someone might steal your baked beans!”

 

“It’s OK.” I say

“I haven’t got any food, I left without any money.”

“But you must eat, you are breastfeeding!

I don’t have much but I’ve got some bananas in my room. You are welcome to have one. Come with me!”

 

I think I may have made a friend

She is full of smiles

And kind gestures

She tells me she’s been here a while

It’s her second time 

But there are others on their third

And forth!

 

“There’s Pam, the last time she left him

He broke into her house

Cut her neck from ear to ear

She’s lucky to be alive

It’s a miracle that she survived!” 

 

“Julie, she’s from Liverpool 

I feel sorry for her being

So far from home

But her guy’s a nutter

He always finds her!”

 

Julie is holding a small child to her breast

While chastising two boisterous boys

Who are giving her the runaround

I can’t help but notice the fading bruises

That appear to be tattooed over

Arms, face and chest

 

“I have to go now.” I tell my new friend

“I need to see someone at the DSS.”

Before I leave I allow my eyes

To sweep the room

A woman or child in every corner

Each with their own stories to tell

Each with their own versions of hell

C.K.23

 

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/women-leave/

 

41% (37 of 91) of women killed by a male partner/former partner in England, Wales and Northern Ireland in 2018 had separated or taken steps to separate from them. Eleven of these 37 women were killed within the first month of separation and 24 were killed within the first year (Femicide Census, 2020).