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My Unflattering Form

My body isn’t truly part of me.

I see it as an entire separate entity.

An unholy presence that has latched onto me.

Causing me so much pain and despair

Nothing about it is correct.

Every inch of skin has a certain marking or shape that I despise.

I look around to see a crowd of other figures. All perfect. All desired.

But mine. Mine is disgusting.

I don’t even want to look or touch it. Let alone another being.

If I could communicate with God and request a perfect body instead of a perfect soul....I would.

The suffocating sense of embarrassment I feel whenever another’s eyes gaze at my form. They don’t need to speak. I can smell their disapproval. 

I must ease the anxiety that I am currently carrying. So I start consuming. Not stopping until my stomach is wrapped with the tightness of guilt.

Then I instinctively commute to the bathroom. Lock the door. Pick up the toothbrush. Turn on the tap. 

🌷(7)

TW EDbodyimagementalhealtheatingdisorderinsecure

◄ Is everything okay?

Uncalculated Coitus ►

Comments

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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Thu 4th May 2023 06:55

Thanks Keira.
At my age I'm increasingly conscious of my own body's limitations-lack of strength, mobility etc.
And then I remember what an amazing thing the body is, and how fortunate I am to have what I have.

Contrary to what current media propaganda would have us believe, there is of course, no "perfect" body.

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Manish Singh Rajput

Wed 3rd May 2023 16:24

A very fragile, poignant and delicate piece of writing. Insecurity and mental disorder distinctively penned down. Nevertheless, there's always a brighter side at the end of the dark tunnel. I can resonate with most of the lines.
Mental health above all!
Thank you for this.

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