It's not his fault

that he has fat fingers that mean

someone has to squeeze

his toothpaste, so they say.

That he gets enraged when he

has to sign things, and pens leak.


He means well. It’s not his fault

someone had the bright idea

that while we are watching

his coronation we should leap

from our sofas and swear homage.  


It probably wasn’t his wheeze.

It’s not his fault that ministers

who tell him what to do

are mediocre or on the take.

He can’t do anything about that.


It’s not his fault that he has riches

beyond compare. Although

in this day and age, he could pay

more taxes, put his hand

in his pocket more often, to be fair.


It’s not his fault that he is king

of a divided nation, or old,

and that Britain is on its uppers,

spent. But he did help to break

a fairy-tale spell. Now all we have

is a pantomime, without any jokes.





◄ Barter Books, Alnwick


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Stephen Gospage

Wed 3rd May 2023 07:24

I think you have put your finger on something, Greg. There is a sense of bumbling, well-meaning helplessness about Charles. Some of his personal views seem not too bad, but of course he is accountable to no one. In think the pantomime still has a few jokes left (maybe its my nostalgia for Spitting Image) but with the next generation, who knows?

It must be difficult for the Poet Laureate to keep coming up with Royal stuff. You have to admire him.

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Greg Freeman

Tue 2nd May 2023 23:01

My apologies, Graham. Mr Armitage, of course. We wait with bated breath!

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 2nd May 2023 22:57

What the one about the Poet Laureate or the one about the poor old sausage CR3

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Greg Freeman

Tue 2nd May 2023 22:17

Thanks for your comments, Jackie and Grace. Bit baffled by your last one, Graham!

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 2nd May 2023 17:33

I can't believe in my heart of hearts that the PL is really invested in this sort of thing. It should be a cracking read!!

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Grace Meadows

Tue 2nd May 2023 16:04

Greg, its that ' heirs and successors' bit that puts me off, does that mean Prince Paedo is in with a chance no matter how remote

ooer! count me out-don't want to chance it.

👍 poem.

Jackie K

Tue 2nd May 2023 12:31

Thanks Greg - I enjoyed how the refrain "It’s not his fault" gathers irony, while remaining (technically) true.

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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Tue 2nd May 2023 12:14

I have to admit, Keith, I'm at an impasse when it comes to choosing between Monarchy V Froggy type govs.

If Elizabeth 11 had cried "Off with his head", in response to the Johnson's shenanigans in HER government, my preference for monarchy might have been reinforced.
Sadly her role turns out to have been one of complete impotence in the face of outright corruption and mendacity.
In those situations, the monarchical "hangers-on" and implicated politicians usually come up smelling of roses instead of la merde.

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Greg Freeman

Tue 2nd May 2023 11:45

Thanks for your comments, Uilleam, Keith, and Graham. I thought I'd get in early before the poet laureate issues his far better crafted, and far more respectful and considered take on it all.

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 2nd May 2023 11:26

I for one won't be watching the all-inclusive all-comers welcome pageantry. I've literally just typed out the title of a 'Coronation Poem' summarily called Corona Corona!

I'll be making a new gate in the garage and weather permitting, going for a walk with my granddaughter.

Long live the Coronation Quiche (which the French say is a tart!!)

A great angle on the shamozzle by the way Greg!

PS I also meant to say that I feel really sorry for the poor old sausage!!

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keith jeffries

Tue 2nd May 2023 11:04

A topical and thought provoking poem. We are being challenged in our thinking more so everyday by distorted and duplicitous journalism. They feed off inadequate and self seeking politicians. We have reached a point where the national compass is spinning.
A constitutional Monarchy has served us well, whereas parliaments have not. God forbid we ever have a politician as head of state. The King has a right to tantrums as we all have. Let it be.
Uilleam has a bigger issue which has my full support. Those who earn vast sums of money and do little but lecture the poor, those queueing outside food banks.
Thank you Greg.

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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Tue 2nd May 2023 10:42

Give the poor fellow a break Greg-he's had a deprived upbringing you know!

Huw Pill, Chief Economist of the Bank of England, who made £95,183, including benefits, in his first six months at the Bank, and who is paid more than £190,000 a year, has advised the poor of the UK that they:
“…need to accept that they're worse off and stop trying to maintain their real spending power by bidding up prices”-oh and while they’re at it, will they please foot the bill for Charlie’s gig!

I'm with Mike Lynch on this one: " We refuse to be poor any longer".

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