You adjusted the pillow so tenderly under my head while we fucked,

I had never experienced consideration like that before, it felt so intimate.

It was so humane.

You detected my discomfort and cared enough to act.

You cared.

You acted.

I admit, it was exactly what I was longing for.

 

I am terrified.

 

Now, I must wait with white knuckles, choking on my breath.

Bracing for the cruel departure of your kindnesses & you,

That is inevitable.

 

But for a moment, now, I will smile.

That such a small gesture meant so much,

And that small gestures still mean so much,

And that I can still feel.

 

I am less jaded and more human than I thought.

And in this moment,

That is enough.