Revenge Of Pancake Man
Here's a long story I am going to tell,
About a guest from The Netherlands: 'The Guest From HELL'.
A girl of 30
Haughty and shirty
Girlfriend of a relly
Who grew up with no telly.
A professional girl with a Burberry scarf-
She never said 'thanks', she never had a larf-
She never cleared her trash, water not 'hot enough' for her bath-
Conversation too boring, she would have been snoring-
If not for her phone.... (to use while *she* zoned-
Out) while others sat eating and chatting-
She was honestly just sat there batting
Around on Candy Crush, I bloody saw her!!
She (she really did!!) described herself as a 'whore'-
Before meeting her boyfriend
Apparently both of them tend
To fuck around with whoever whenever
Gross and unclever.
Not edgy and cool
Immature deluded horrible fools.
A week of arrogance and complaint
Everything was taint-
Either that or not good enough-
For this special Dutch-
Girl with weird traits
Within her personality, and someone who hates
It when her pancakes aren't crispy-
I mean.. *you* or *I* would deem it too RISKY!!
To march back in the kitchen-
Where the pancake-maker was bitchin'
To serve pancakes for FOUR-
cook was FLOORED
When she demanded more cooking
Of the pancake on her plate--despite the rest of us looking
For *our* pancakes which were YET TO BE SERVED
Out to other members of the herd
We *had* all put HER FIRST.
With pan in hand
Cook accepted her demand
Put it back in.
But wait?... what's rising up from within??!?
It's Pancake Man lurking and surfing
Around on the rim.
He's come to tell her she's horribly rude
To scold her and tell her 'Just eat your damn food'!!
She stayed for a week and didn't say 'bye'
I didn't cry
As I'd had time to eye
The number of times she never said thanks
Never said 'Good Morning', never pulled ranks
With the rest of us, she didn't give a shit
We were scum and she was 'IT'.
She stole some sunglasses I left for her use-
Just for while she was here (!!), but she cut them loose!!
Right into her case without me knowing-
She was determined not to be seen showing-
ANY thanks to her hosts for the things that they gave,
She thought we'd let it go... but we were in for the save (mwahhaaa!!!)
They were vintage 1960's!! not easily found!!
She was probably planning to scoop up some pounds!!
From their sale on Ebay or Vinted or Depop
And now actually yes, she DOES have to drop
Them back to where we can retrieve them from.
This is NOT..... the person you want for your son.
Pancake Man rose up to give her a warning-
Be humble, be nice; don't be a bored or yawning
All yer life.