I have a crush on one of the inanimate pirates at Pirate Crazy Golf

All that plundering 

And wanton shivering of his timber 

Has brought comeuppance

And seagull shit 

Raining down.


This stud must have raked the whips of hell

Through every great ocean on earth

To have been sentenced

To imprisonment here. 


On the crust of the English Channel. 


Fenced in 

With salt breath 

A torture on his back. 


Forced in

Like a baby in the bear pit. 



As shrieking putting parties 

Wang their clubs around 

And wayward golf balls

Hit him in the nuts. 


It’s like seeing Aslan,

Once mighty,

Shaven and bound on the stone table.

Such acute humiliation. 


Such a handsome face.   




◄ Egg.

Silent Wash ►


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Bryony Partridge

Sat 8th Oct 2022 22:28

@Stephen 😂 (and thank you for the kind words!)

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Stephen Gospage

Sat 8th Oct 2022 17:13

A smashing, inventive poem, Bryony. Be careful though, it may be a slippery slope!

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Bryony Partridge

Fri 7th Oct 2022 19:46

Thanks Tom! 🏴‍☠️

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Fri 7th Oct 2022 12:28

Really enjoyed this Bryony. The title alone is a winner.

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