Heat waves and sensual conversation
That's what I remember when I finally awoke
Except I was alone with a familiar shock down my spine
And now that my eyes are open I'd rather be drifting off 
Closed off. 
I spent summer afternoons lost in a sleepy haze
Nothing felt...like anything 
It was empty 
Numb 
Not even the music spoke anymore
I drowned myself in heavy angst but felt nothing 
My writings lacked substance and so do I. 
No matter how many pills I swallowed, sleep was always just out of reach 
Finally I said "Screw it."