Advice To My Younger Self

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Advice to my younger self


Dear Rasa,


I’m gifting you, some words of advice to your beautiful teenage self, who just can’t see the whole truth in some things right now.


 Be kind to your parents and teachers. They are trying the best they can.


Know that good looks and popularity seem really important right now, but longer term, you’ll realise that other things are much more important (e.g kindness, intelligence and integrity).


Don’t let people take advantage of you. I know you are desperate to be liked, but trust that you’ll find the good people and those people will love you for being you. Try to stay clear of mean peers and find a way to be assertive with those bullies. Set an example for the people who don’t have a voice…but I know these are all really hard things to do in that shark tank called high school.


Try not to feel pressured to get a boyfriend and have sex. All those things can wait and they hold many complications that you’ll find out about later. Most of your peers are just as afraid as you are of being kissed.


High school is tough and being a teenager is even tougher, but you will survive it. Procrastinating and rebelling won’t serve you as much as you think it will. You are smart, just do the homework and be patient. 


I know you feel self-conscious about your muscley legs. However, you’ll see later that they are one of your sexiest physical attributes.


And more importantly those legs survived major injuries, they won athletics events, basketball and netball tournaments and boxing matches at a competitive level. Those muscles are the demonstration of a girl who is fit and strong and who works hard, right from a family of women who hold the same strength.


Your name is different, I know you feel self-conscious about it. But your name and your heritage will prove later in life to be hugely important to your identity and culture. You’ll later thank your parents for speaking to you in another language when you were growing up and for giving you a name that was unique.


 I know that some days it’s all too much. And I know you don’t love yourself, right now.  The things that you criticize yourself for are the things that make you special, Rasa. One day you will see that. I can say this to you, confidently, because I’m 33 years old and am writing this letter to you, smiling.


So, hang in there. Be you and love you. The rest will come together, I promise.





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Rasa Kabaila

Tue 16th Aug 2022 04:58

Thank you John and Stephen, for your kind comments. I used to work as a child and adolescent mental health nurse, so I always tried to nurture them in the way I would have liked to nurture myself at that time. 😃

Kind regards,

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Stephen Gospage

Sun 14th Aug 2022 16:34

A tender, moving piece, Rasa. Thank you for this.

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John Botterill

Sun 14th Aug 2022 16:19

I found myself getting emotional reading this, Rasa. It is thoughtful, intelligent and kind. It would serve wonderfully well as the prototype of a letter to be given to all young people. You delivered the goods, as always! 😀😎

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