seconds and moments are wrapped around my eyes,

a blindfold tied in a neat knot at the back of my skull,

the yellow feeling i crave again.

touch my hand, brush my cheek, lift my chin for a kiss

oh mistress memory, pull me in like a lover.

i am a slave to her delights, the caress of yesterday

is intoxicating. even her heartaches taste sweet,

the hurt transfixed on someone, sometime else.

i live resting on her bosom, safe from the now 

that lies ever nearer, encroaching on my slumber.

the way sunlight smells in august 

or how his smile rang in my head,

how her eyes shone in the darkness

or his hot fast breath in my ear.

slipping, slow, leaking

from my lockbox lobes,

from past to present more by the hour, 

clinging to the blindfold more and more, 

hide me from the next line.

jolt, shake, rattle the dark behind my eyes

as the train shock-starts again. all at once

i remember what it was like before all i did

was remember. i am slammed into my seat

and i feel the cold plastic digging in behind my knees.

the present is unkind. she is cruel

in a way the past let me forget. her touch 

is grounding, hard and stern on my skin.

the fear of an undecided moment,

a day as yet unlived

drives me deeper into the safety 

of my mistress’s arms again.