Sometimes I struggle to know how I feel

I think I’m OK but then the sadness

Begins to feel real

I don’t know why

But I just want to cry

Curl up and die

 

I think back on it all

The rise and the fall

The ups and the downs

And I straighten my crown

I release a deep sigh

 

I ache when I see

How history replays

In the lives of the girls

The girls I have raised

 

The girls I have hugged

As I mopped up their tears

Reliving my own

The oceans I’ve cried

Throughout the years

 

Their pain is mine

It cuts to the core

I feel their pain

Like the waves of a storm

That batter the shore

 

I cry for the wounds

That cut deep

Into the hearts

Changing forever

The lives that birthed

From the womb

 

Yes, they may heal

Over time the truth

Is revealed

But the scars that are left

Will stay all the way to the tomb

 

I watch and I feel

As they try to heal

So strong is their need

To never reveal the true depth

Of their fears

Or the extent of the tears

Cried into their pillows

Night after night

 

I know they will rise

They will take on the fight

One day they will even launch

Into flight

 

But for now I will hold them

I will teach what I’ve learned

Still. when the day is over

And I turn out the light

I will bury my face

So they won’t hear my sobs

I will never let on

How my heart aches

For their innocence lost

 

When we wake from our slumber

Our tossing and turning

We will smile at each other

And say we are fine

We’ll paint our faces

Be ready by nine.

 

C.K. 22