Hardly ever visited before I started pub going
Even though I lived 2 miles away
But I only got to know the town well
When I started working there one day

Pollution was worse than the M25
They tried to cover it up
Masks are advised - Covid or not
In "Nam" you might have to cough up

The town's bins are a veritable treasure trove
Look at what they throw away!
If you want to go bin diving
I'll tell you the best day...

Read "Townscape in Figures" by Richard Hoggart
He described it better than me
That old lady pushing in the queue
Shouldn't be a surprise you see

Load of pubs and coffee shops
Not so many commuters any more
A dormant dormitory town
With more than one bookstore

That's 2 more than Aldershot
Great park, castle and palace too!
Surrey Hills, heaths and woodlands
Get out - it's good for you!

An "average (mansion) house" will cost 1 million
In Dockenfield , Frensham or Tilford
Estate agents windows may concuss
Yours truly bewildered (near Guildford)