As I fall in this loop of not feeling enough,

These things I have to deal with after failed attempts.

I feel incompetent when I can’t achieve or reach my goals,

Maybe there is something I missed in the archive,

I am never fully pleased with the things I achieve,

Unappreciative is a way to perceive things.

I try to be attentive to the collateral beauty,

But it’s literally hard to see beyond a broken heart,

Vision gets blurry when I spend most of my time crying,

I have to keep trying even when things are tiring.

My failures are like an avalanche waiting to fall,

They wait in my shower to watch me cower,

Naked and vulnerable, my insecurities want me lower.

Dared to stay in this limited time, I wish I could stay timid,

My dreams are like alarms in a deep sleep, 

Some point they scare me if I let them slip.

learned to never let go of people who care most,

Those that dared to find me when I was lost,

I am forever grateful, midlife crisis came at a cost.

My story is a lost course even if I try not to avoid the first line.

It’s hard to vent when your heart behaves like a pirate, a tyrant perhaps?

I guess I will never know the extent of my pride,

Emotions dictate my decisions, execution without precision is a waste.

Everything is in a haste, I just try my best not to fall like this.