Are you an incurable romantic?

Do you need an escort when you go out

To prevent you falling prey to love?

 

Have you had counselling

For your love addiction?

Do they tell you

There’s no hope

Then pat you on the head and go?

 

Do you suffer from a form of Tourettes

That makes you shout

I LOVE YOU at the top of your voice

Til people, shocked by your behaviour,

Stand back and stare?

 

Are you tagged with a pink Love Heart

Around your ankle?

And is there a curfew to keep you safe indoors

When all the pretty girls go by?

 

Are you a Care in the Community Romantic?

Do social workers come to visit

And make you cups of tea

And try to talk you out of love?

Don’t listen sweetheart,

What do they know?

 

We romantics are so . . .

Vulnerable.

We give our hearts like others

Buy a copy of the Big Issue,

A little questioning then,

Yes! We know it’s the right thing to do!

 

We romantics have to stick together

So when the thought police come

I’ll get you out of room 101.

 

I’ll be like Emma Peel and

I’ll distract the guard

And meet you in our secret place.

I’ll wear a green carnation

So you‘ll know it’s me.

But please make haste!

For we romantics

Have no time to waste!

 

And as you well know

Love is all,

my darling,

Love is all!