Life is not here

 

I had searched for justice

But it was nowhere to be found

Reason had escaped me completely

So I went after trust but it came to nought

My wanderings were futile

As also seemed my very existence

Perfection and order lay crumpled

In the ruins of desolation and destruction

Yet I could see beauty everyday

In an abundance all about me

Landscapes crafted as works of art

Seascapes and skies to uplift the soul

Music to enrich every sinew of my being

Time ambled by trailing the residue of experience

Which would not relinquish its hold on me

I floundered as the victim of innocence

Caught in a whirlwind of ill fated desires

Disenchantment preached its sermon from a

Very high pulpit with a pointing finger

 

The desert scorched my worn and calloused feet

Until I reached the ultimate precipice

There I hovered over an interminable abyss

Further afield hills grew into mountains

But hope was not longer on the horizon

I had already been there, sat in its bars

sauntered through it alley ways of enticement

I had made passionate love into the early hours

drank wine into a stupified abyss of velvety warmth

Suffered rejection and denied ambition

I had persevered more than most

I held fast to my faith although intermittently

sometimes with an ardour then with desultory self interest

 

In a cul de sac of wretchedness I wept the tears

of frustration which rolled down my florid cheeks

It had all been an illusion

A lesson along a well worn path

Nothing was worth a drop of earthly investment

In this forest of abject abandonment

I was in the midst of it all, yes

but not of it, not possessing it

and no longer wanting any of it