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Billy and the Flowers

I thought I'd start with an old poem. I'm not entirely sure how this site 
works yet so bare with me and I'd be grateful for any tips!

I hope you like it,

Heather xx


Billy and the Flowers

In my garden, flowers were like friends;
with their sultry bodies, up-turned heads
simmering in the acrid air.
But then; the plague came.

Billy said we'd die.
Good, I thought.
My flowers and I were tired of the children's laughter -
down the lane.
Billy said that everyone would die.
Except me. 'Cause Billy would protect me.
I didn't think much to that.

Then the flowers got sick:
peachy petals fell and their leaves went dry,
all dried up like brittle sticks.

They never bloomed again.

I wanted to tell Billy. I couldn't find him.
Down the lane with its absence of laughter
my feet went thud thud thud.
At Billy's door slick with its thick red paint
my fist went thud thud thud.

No laughter. No answer.

Billy and the flowers were - gone.

Finger in the Dust ►

Comments

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Heather

Mon 12th Jul 2010 07:48

Not a problem Dave and thanks for explaining, I love learning these little historical details. That would be a fascinating place to visit, must make a note of it, thanks!

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Dave Carr

Mon 12th Jul 2010 06:59

I appear to have misled you - sorry. Eyam and the wells is not the name of a poem. I was reminded of the village of Eyam in Derbyshire that was affected by the plague. The villagers took the brave decision to quarantine themselves and cut the village off. It is a tourist attraction for this reason and the well dressing custom in Derbyshire where the village wells are decorated with flowers. Dave

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winston plowes

Sat 10th Jul 2010 21:14

Hi Heather...I liked this sad tale. As sherlock Holmes once said "Our highest assurance of the goodness of Providence seems to me to rest in the flowers. All other things, our powers, our desires, our food, are all really necessary for our existence in the first instance. But this rose is an extra. Its smell and its color are an embellishment of life, not a condition of it. It is only goodness which gives extras, and so I say again that we have much to hope from the flowers." Keep posting your poems in the blog section every now and again and comment on others and you will find WOL rewarding I thing. Win x

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Heather

Sat 10th Jul 2010 09:56

Does anyone know who wrote Eyam and the Wells? I'm intrigued but I tried googling it and couldn't find a reference.

Thanks for the welcomes and comments everyone!

I'll probably choose acrid then, it's the more fitting of the two. Not wasting words is a good tip, thanks Cynthia and Graham!

Thank you Andy :)

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Dave Carr

Sat 10th Jul 2010 00:43

Made me think of Eyam and the wells.
Dave

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Graham Sherwood

Fri 9th Jul 2010 17:44

Surely bitter and acrid are totally different. Bitter is a taste/emotion thing, whereas acrid is an aroma/sensation thing. I'm happy to read both although I'm also a strong believer in not wasting words. Welcome by the way Heather.

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Andy N

Fri 9th Jul 2010 14:59

welcome, heather.. i really enjoyed this... lot of power in this i particular the use of the thud, thud, thud twice.. it adds a lot to the piece i feel.

good stuff - keep it coming! it certainly left me interested in wanting to read more!

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Fri 9th Jul 2010 11:36

Welcome, Heather. We all had a 'first poem' and waited with bated breath. IMO means 'in my opinion'. Many people use this sign, to show that their comments are not personal.
Your poem leaves me feeling twisted, but in a very interesting way.It is a strong imaginative idea. I think some lines are really good. In my opinion (IMO), 'bitter' and 'acrid' are so similar, do you really need both to slow up the rhythmic power and dilute the force of your concept? That's likely my second reaction - the culling of unimportant words to give the poem more punch. The italics work well. 'slick' and 'thick' seem a bit contrived; either one emphasises the X of the plague. Although 'slick' denotes 'freshness' also. It is probably the word that covers the idea best. I do like this work, and look forward to more.

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