The city's Christmas Light Extravaganza has been cancelled

because the Center for Disease Control has determined that

sitting in your own car and looking at Christmas Lights

from a distance of 100 feet is prime Covid infection territory.

In fact, it has been found that the lights themselves, generate Covid.

All this time we thought Covid came from a secret Chinese lab

but now we know, Christmas lights are generating Covid at an alarming rate.

Citizens are asked to turn off all their personal Christmas lights or...

hang them 6 feet apart and sanitize them often with bleach.

If you see Christmas lights up after this notice, please call police!

No one should be celebrating Christmas or enjoying lights without a permit.

Darkness is better for your health and well-being.

Stay dark!