Ella's Fitter

Her pearly teeth gave me migraine

I was awed by her withering voice

Her feet bigger than dustbin lids

Ella was my one and only choice


Riddled with human deficiencies

None of us are perfect after all

Ella was well aware of her limits

She was less than four foot tall


Yet she boasted hidden talents

She could easily manage a top C

On piano she matched Rubinstein

With her her favours she was free


Those teeth were highly unusual

She nearly snored me to death

It took ear-plugs to get to sleep

A gas-mask against her breath


Ella was right good to the poor

She went to chapel on Sundays

On balance I found her delightful

I grew accustomed to her ways


With women I would keep quiet

Never moan, whine or condemn,

Let any man who is not without sin

Risk articulating the vitues of men


Ella pulled me gently aside one day

Said despite my love I lacked vigour

My forbearance was appreciated

But she wanted somebody bigger


"I want a man to make me gasp"

She bawled as my legs went weak

"You're on your way out sunshine,

I need a palm tree not a Welsh leek


Ella's content with a brawny fitter now

They scare the neighbours with fights

But at last she's got what she wants,

She doesn't snore so much at nights





◄ The Swinger

Heartfall ►


No comments posted yet.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message