We met through a personal ad

Two desperadoes with sad eyes

Putting our pride in our pockets

Pained from others goodbyes

 

Desperation is a cruel master

Standards plummet to the floor

You tolerate the unacceptable

What you wanted is no more

 

Half-hearted, we fixed a date

Half a loaf is better than none

I wasn't keen on her manners

Normally she'd want me gone

 

I dont even like her, while I

Can sense her animal distaste

There's no effort to pretend,

We're held together by paste

 

Its better than having no-one,

A sort of license for regular sex

Emotionally we're strangers

Afraid to argue shout or vex

 

As for plans there's no point

Our future is merely short-term

For all I know she regards me

As a snivelling, lifeless worm

 

I ought to keep on the look-out

I'm convinced I deserve better

She's hinting at having a kid!

Thank Gof for the french letter

 

We're like an old married couple

Whose love age has cut and dried

Except we had none to start with

We're still hanging on for the tide

 

Can love grow out of stony soil?

How do I put up with her corns?

I've forgotten what love is, I

Must take the bull by the horns

 

Perhaps she'll get sick and die

How to escaper this tender trap?

Is she interfering with my food?

I'm so tired I want another nap

 

Just as I considered the gas-oven

She announced that she's away!

Why do I feel strangely mortified?

I'm tempted to beg her to stay

 

I missed my pre-emptive strike

She's beaten me to the punch

Galvanised, I've fixed to meet

One newly-widowed for lunch