All these eyes
That hold your body as you pass
They cannot help not let you go
You'd feel their iris'
Cradle your curves
If only you could know
I only see
Because I am distanced
I only know to look
Because I have glanced that way before
Nothing changes
From man to man
Maybe just gaze time
Maybe just
The height of their eye-line
A girl like you
Any girl
Who looks as good as you
Will always be held
In hungry eyes
(2008)
darren thomas
Mon 14th Jun 2010 09:37
Hi Thomas - you know I enjoy your work and this is no exception. One thing that does jarr with me (but only because I'm anal) is the contracted clause <You'd feel>. The other opportunities where you could contract <I am distanced...> and <I have glanced...> you've chosen not to and it 'feels' a little inconsistant. But the sentiment and the pace I interpret as indicative of wanting - which is great.
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Dave Bradley
Mon 14th Jun 2010 11:22
I'm a fan too. An effective poem. Two years old. Would you write it now? There's more to women than Barbie doll looks.