Back To The Start

You have our daughters face tattooed on your chest.
The same place I used to snuggled up next to, lay my head down and finally rest.
You would wrap your tattooed arms around me and I’d trace every line.
Completely content to be yours and for you to be mine.
And then one day everything changed.
She messaged saying she was pregnant, how strange...
All of the sudden you’re weren’t mine anymore.
I’ve never fully recovered from that loss mi amour.
Most days I keep that box under lock and key. Sometimes I open it, stand in the fire Waiting for the flames to engulf me.
Nothing lasts forever. Not even love or pain.
15 years later you’re still the one tattooed on my heart and brain.
There’s only one thing in this world that makes me weak enough to conquer
And that’s watching you hold our daughter.
You gave me no choice but to pack and leave.
You broke our family and completely embarrassed me.
I took our daughter and began a new life while she took my place as your Queen.
I dreamed of you. I screamed for you. I would cut my heart out and bleed for you.
I always protected you even from a far.
I would watch her make choices in your life I knew would leave deep scars.
I came to your rescue every time you needed me.
I loved you enough to save you while I killed me.
And as she sat on her stolen throne and watched you fall from grace
I burned myself at the stake.
I told myself everyday it’s going to get worse before it gets better.
Embrace the pain and anguish, this Scarlett Letter.
Let it mold you into the greatest
The darkness you left me in became a place of growth solitude and refuge
Light became chaos I was not used to.
You took my love and planted it in the darkest of places.
This heartbreak put me in some of the most mentally unsafe spaces.
I grew from the pain you inflicted on me.
I became the Queen of my empire instead of the Queen of your heart.
I promise you this much my love I’d give it all up just to go back to the start...

 

Written May 2018

◄ A Sleepy Love

The Black Pearl ►

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