The Red ‘Edded Spuggy

 

Come tek a look, it’s in my back yard

Maggie Slugshaw said

It looks just like a normal spuggy

Except for its ‘ed… which is red

 

It’s a red ‘edded spuggy, a red edded spuggy

They’ve never been spotted before

It’s the world’s first ever… red ‘edded spuggy

It’s unique…. There ain’t any more

 

So the twitchers flocked in from miles around

To come and have a see

And there was even some ornithologists

(They’re just twitchers…  who have a degree)  

 

Professor Corvid had come up from Cambridge

To register seeing the bird

And to try to explain the anomaly

Cos he liked to get in the first word

 

He said “I’ve studied this red ‘eddded spuggy”

“And I know the simple solution”

“As Darwin explained with his finches”

“It’s just a stage of their evolution”

 

“It’s survival of the fittest”

“So… as the great man would have said”

“The fittest spuggies in Grimestone”

“Are the ones that have got a red ed”

 

But Oxford sent up a professor anorl

And this one didn’t agree

He too was an ornithologist

(That’s a twitcher.. who’s got a degree)

 

He said “Tha’s talkin’ crap owd lad”

 

He was a Southerner and normally talked posh, but his grandparents were from Mexborough so he slipped into the accent whenever he came up North

 

He said “Tha’s talkin’ crap owd lad”

“Evolution’s played no part in it”

“The phenomena here is darn t’ there diet”

“Of iron….. and good Yorkshire grit”

 

He said “The soil around here is all ferric”

“So when they come down t’ get fed”

“The iron gets into their bloodstream”

“And that is what’s turned its head red”

 

So… that’s just two of the theories of the red ‘edded spuggy

And how it came to Grimstone Low

But the real reason was a one-off event

That happened just three days ago

 

Hesketh Boggins was painting his fence

A lovely cedar red

When a spuggy tried to nick his jam butty

So he caught it and painted its head