Is this thing some punishment

Or are we being softened up?

Is Dominic Cummings an alien,

Are punters getting sold a pup?

 

More rumours of mutation rumble

As if we didn't have enough fears,

Seems the virus fancies a change,

Securing access through our ears

 

Sounds bizarre, but a while ago

I met a nice woman out walking

She was so sorry her dog bit me

And before long we got talking

 

She suggested that I self-isolate for

At least ten days, and herself ditto,

Then she would come over to stay,

"Why give in to such a wicked foe?"

 

She rang last night and told me

Don't worry, I'd be safe with her

Told me I was one of the chosen

She'd bring ear-muffs made of fur

 

We walked around town today,

People were dropping like flies

This evening Vanda left my side

To observe the red evening skies

 

We wear the muffs even in bed

Except when Vanda is all ears

For cosmic signals from above

As her leader's spacecraft nears

 

Flying ever faster through time

Dread virus nuzzling at my ears,

I wake to feel the tongue of Cato,

Noble whippet, easer of fears!