The Liars Smile

 

I sat and held your hand

A thousand times again.

Sometimes we heard 

The strumming of a band.

And I sat and held your hand.

We swapped smiles that

I couldn’t understand.

 

As you laid in that

Hospital bed.

I often felt forlorn

There’s a smashing

In my head. Sat in silence.

Just feeling like violence.

 

I slipped away

To the parents toilet

And stared in the mirror.

I didn’t recognise

The reflection staring back.

There was no freedom here.

 

The tears just came

Flowing massively.

Washing the sides of 

My face. What had we done

So wrong to end up in this place?

Help help there’s danger near.

 

The thoughts came howling in.

I studied the lines of my face.

Once again I yelled inside

Thought of the smell of this place.

A screaming in my head

I couldn’t return to take my place

Back beside your bed.

 

I cried out a lifespan’s worth

Of danger and the fear.

Wandering about my love

Under lights made so clear.

But the holy truth

Hung about my neck

And weighed me down

To a shuffle and a moan.

 

But all I saw was a pitch black dove.

I wanted us to get there,

Beat the trembling fear.

I had to wait for my eyes

To clear and the water to dry.

He couldn’t see I’ve been and had that cry.

 

So I went back to him

Studying the beauty

Of his face.

I painted back that

Liars smile and took 

Back hold of his hand.