Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    


The BBC orchestra was in full flow

Sibelius symphony number two

We were third row in the balcony

Up there you get a better view


Suddenly she sat bolt upright

Whispering to me with a sigh

How her neighbour's right hand

Had just been stroking her thigh


I turned to glare at the aged culprit

It was then we decided to swap places

Now the ensemble was playing Brahms

The violinist going through his paces


It was near the end of the first movement

That I noticed a hand touching my knee

Quite losing track of the pizzicato

My sang-froid went went right out of key


It was then I saw the offenders white stick

He seemed to be blind in each eye

By now he was tapping out the beat

Not on my knee but my left thigh


Thinking: "This seems an honest mistake"

I let the codger carry on with his error

His hand was strangely warm and rhythmic

The Mozart encore soothed my terror


Just then I copped where his left hand was

And the enigmatic stare of a matron.

For, far from beating out the music

His crabbed  fingers were inside her apron!


Forgetting about Wolfgang Amadeus

I grabbed the sex-maniac by the throat

At which a lady usher intervened

Which struck a discordant note


I'm in custody now for assault but

I cant seem to make them understand

Why I decked an innocent old geezer-

The conductor emeritus of the band!


◄ Pickled

Rose ►


Profile image

Don Matthews

Sun 9th Aug 2020 00:37

Very good Simon....

Profile image

jennifer Malden

Sat 8th Aug 2020 14:58

Really funny, and beautifully describes the totally unexpected turn events as normal as going to a concert can take! A white stick can also be used to advantage in many ways, apart from actually having impaired vision. (Dare I say 'being blind')?


If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message