Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

Consulting the Auricle

In the garden
Awash with summer
Pregnant with Purple Sunshine and Windflowers
A fly buzzes by
You flick your hair aside
Revealing
Your surveillance equipment
Perfectly formed
And petite
You catch my star
ing and lean across
To whisper to me
 “They are for listening to tiny things”
You say
 
“Dust colliding,
The beating of the Blue Damsel-fly’s gossamer wings
Skimming the pond,
A raindrop sliding down a window.”
You look me in the eye,
“The skipping of your heartbeat.”
 
Oh, to know such things
And not be driven to madness.
How wonderful, how sublime
To exist
For once
 

◄ Panchajanya

Prometheus and Andromeda ►

Comments

Profile image

Nash

Mon 10th May 2010 20:53

Thanks Ray. I will definitely have a think about the 'heartbeat' comment, you may be onto something there. The separation of 'staring' is a nod to the mersey poets who are particular favourites of mine, it's not meant as a surprise as such, just to draw your eye back to it to accentuate the meaning of the word. A cheap trick, but I like it. Glad you like though and thanks again for your very constructive comments. Much appreciated, Nash

Profile image

Ray Miller

Mon 10th May 2010 20:47

Hello Nash. Like the title, "Your surveillance equipment" is clever and "Dust colliding"is sublime, well, the whole of that verse is pretty good. Wonder if you could finish on heartbeat, final verse isn't adding that much, I don't think.Do you mean to separate "star" and "ing"? There's enough surprises without that. Good poem.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message