They've been around for ever

Lurking in the stangest places

They colonise all kinds of surfaces

Above all they love our faces

 

My anti-bacterial wife

Doesn't stand on ceremony

She refuses in principle to let

Bacteria impose their hegemony

 

She washes me from noon till night

A flannel is always at my elbow

My nether regions are not immune

In case the varmints strike a low blow

 

I reek of undiluted Dettol

Domestos drips from every orifice

I'm now a romantic no-go zone

Should she catch one from a kiss

 

THe house has never been cleaner

Everything shines like a new pin

The windows are kept firmly locked

Just in case any should try to get in

 

I'm washing my hands till they're red raw

Our water bill like a geyser has erupted

Any bug trying to survive in our house

Has had its game plan severely disrupted

 

My skin is sore from moisturiser

I've taken to hiding in the shed

I can smell her hurrying down the path

Clouds of disfectant around her head

 

Can she really be coughing?

She says her throat feels sore

Is she allergic to household cleaners?

Or have those blighters evened the score?