Whole lot of shame

Stop playing pretend

Stop trying to be my friend

 

I just wanted you to listen

Instead you just start fishing

 

I don't have time for this in my life

You fuck with my head causeing strife

 

I am so easily to change my mind

I will just lay here and act like I am fine

 

I deserve to feel like shit

I caused all this now I deal with it

 

Now you just bully me around

While I lay here crying begging to be found

 

I need time and space

To see I could so easily be replaced

 

I don't need you to approve of this

You came around and flick a switch

 

You talk with a surpants tounge

Whispering things can't be undone

 

Force me to hold this blame

Making me feel nothing but shame

 

I just wanted a shoulder to cry

A friend I could rely

 

I can't even face you it hurts to much

I am ashamed I even tried to keep in touch

 

I was vulnerable lost and scared

I just wanted you to be there

 

Now I have to fight with my self

Deal with the pain I caused myself

 

I have bigger issues then you

I fell down the rabbit hole it's true

 

I am not sad cause things ended

I am sad because I pretended

 

I feel embarrassed lost and scared

Damage was cause beyond repare

 

This isn't some sick twisted joke

Stop exposing words that should be unspoken

 

Go a head point fingers at me

This isn't some way to people please

 

I will hold all this blame

Cause we all know it's a twisted game

 

The lesson I take from what you taught

Was I should have just left from the start

 

In all this I found my love to write

It makes it worth every fight

 

Let me sit in my rabbit hole of shame

In this hole I hold all the blame

 

 

 

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Comments

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Itsjustmedownhere

Tue 26th May 2020 01:34

I read this particular poem over a few times. I really enjoy those who pour out their soul in their work.
Well done.

-J

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poemagraphic

Mon 25th May 2020 23:00

Thank you for being here...

It takes a little while to get to know us. Keep writing and read some of the poet's other posts from times gone by.

At the bottom of each post, there is a link to what they have written before. If you click it you can see their previously posted work.

I often read back months finding some real gems that I missed.

If you post more than one poem a day it automatically knocks the previous one off the front page... It has not gone, it is still there for all to see however a lot of people only ever read what is in that list on the right of the page... Sad but true!

Each month all the poems are archived so everybody's poems can still be accessed, right back to the very first poem they posted here.

Audio and video can also be posted if you desire... which I am only now just about to do myself.

If you have any questions just ask... We are all only too pleased to help a fellow poet or person in need.

ENJOY
Po

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Darkest sunflower

Mon 25th May 2020 22:26

Thank you both So much for the words of encouragement I am new to all this I have posted on another blog under a different name but never gotten so many likes and comments it truly has made me cry and I feel happy hoping I am help others heal as well I can't thank all of you enough 😀

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poemagraphic

Mon 25th May 2020 20:09

V you like me can walk the talk when it comes to unloading by simply uploading!

Isn't poetry great!

Darkest sunflower, you will find a loving soul in V, she can uplift the heaviest of us. She has dragged me out of that rabbit hole more times than I care to remember.

We are truly like a family here. Some say very little, often they are the ones who can make a big difference.

Po

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Vautaw

Mon 25th May 2020 19:30

I love this poem and can so relate, especially the line, “In all this I found my love to write” which definitely does make it worth the fight. 🖤

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poemagraphic

Mon 25th May 2020 18:45

I only last week posted a 'Hatter' poem here is the link...

https://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=102527

It is never too late to Party.

I would never rewrite another poet's poem. This is the very first time that I have ever made such a comment here.

Your poetry is a fantastic way to reach the parts that hurt and heal in ways that will surprise and uplift you... I am speaking from lots of personnel experience.

Keep writing
Po

Perhaps even add a comment or two there yourself... It will make me smile... Please!

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Darkest sunflower

Mon 25th May 2020 14:27

PO thank you for the like and your advice is 100% welcome here but sadly. The last part of my poem is about my personal experiences I do adore Alice in wonderland but this is about what I am currently going through I was needy and selfish I have hurt alot of people including myself though I maybe sad I understand I am to blame I appreciate your advice feel free to rewrite this poem however you like and post it that's what being creative is about

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poemagraphic

Sun 24th May 2020 17:26

Great piece of soulful, heartfelt poetry.

the line... "I am not sad cause things ended

I am sad because I pretended"

Is a masterstroke of your pen.

The last line is perhaps in need of a slight change

As 'The Hatter' can I propound from that hole in the ground

In my rabbit hole, I'll sit awhile
til my frown turns upwards watch me smile!

tic tock tic tock watch the clock.
Po

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