TALKIN' SAMMY'S HORRID DREAM MASSACREE BLUES
(A true story; in as much as any dream is true!)
Our Sam dropped by to wish us well
But also had a tale to tell;
Now, I could tell it but I’ll let Sam
Cos no-one tells one like she can.
That’s No.2 daughter…….Not quite right in the head.
“Last night I had a horrid dream
The worstest nightmare’s ever been;
As I was walking down the street
I got swept up and off my feet.
He said “Zis is a high jacket”
For him this was no laughing matter
He should have picked some bird less fatter
I kicked his shin and cracked his jaw
But he pushed me through the van’s side door.
It was a squeeze I can tell you.
Well, we drove up and we drove down
Until we drove right out of town
We sat together side by side
I started to enjoy the ride.”
(She’s a bit simple is Sam)
“I’m thinking this is kinda fun
Until he pointed with his gun
This somewhat changed the scenery
And now began to worry me.
I might miss Love Island.
Then when at last we stopped the man
Gestured me get out the van’
I joined a bunch of thirty more women
And I guessed the score.
Now, at last, the thought awakes
‘We’re sex slaves for some Arab sheiks!’;
I gradually stopped feeling mad
And thought ‘Oh well, that’s not so bad’
Plenty of beach to play on.
But when they split the group in two
The penny dropped; I got the clue;
See, one group were all lovely lookers
The second bunch just ugly fuckers;
The gangmaster then raised his finger
And points me to the bunch of mingers;
Now I’m not vain and wouldn’t boast
But this was what upset me most;
They never would pull down my kecks
And use me as a slave for sex;
Not for me some Arab beast
And shagging in the Middle East;
I was sent with all the duds
To Norfolk’s fields to pick the spuds.”
This dream had Sammy most upset –
She’s never done a day’s work yet.