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(A true story; in as much as any dream is true!)


Our Sam dropped by to wish us well

But also had a tale to tell;

Now, I could tell it but I’ll let Sam

Cos no-one tells one like she can.

That’s No.2 daughter…….Not quite right in the head.


“Last night I had a horrid dream

The worstest nightmare’s ever been;

As I was walking down the street

I got swept up and off my feet.

He said “Zis is a high jacket”


For him this was no laughing matter

He should have picked some bird less fatter

I kicked his shin and cracked his jaw

But he pushed me through the van’s side door.

It was a squeeze I can tell you.


Well, we drove up and we drove down

Until we drove right out of town

We sat together side by side

I started to enjoy the ride.”

(She’s a bit simple is Sam)


“I’m thinking this is kinda fun

Until he pointed with his gun

This somewhat changed the scenery

And now began to worry me.

I might miss Love Island.


Then when at last we stopped the man

Gestured me get out the van’

I joined a bunch of thirty more women

And I guessed the score.

Now, at last, the thought awakes

‘We’re sex slaves for some Arab sheiks!’;

I gradually stopped feeling mad

And thought ‘Oh well, that’s not so bad’

Plenty of beach to play on.


But when they split the group in two

The penny dropped; I got the clue;

See, one group were all lovely lookers

The second bunch just ugly fuckers;


The gangmaster then raised his finger

And points me to the bunch of mingers;

Now I’m not vain and wouldn’t boast

But this was what upset me most;

They never would pull down my kecks

And use me as a slave for sex;


Not for me some Arab beast

And shagging in the Middle East;

I was sent with all the duds

To Norfolk’s fields to pick the spuds.”


This dream had Sammy most upset –

She’s never done a day’s work yet.




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John Coopey

Sun 24th May 2020 21:21

Thanks Po. I always explain at Open Mics that I can't sing and I'm not much cop at playing either. But that I am, however, always the best looking there.

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Sun 24th May 2020 17:37

The singing postman is turning in his grave.

The sound bite is fantastic...

I am so in awe of your talent.

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Sun 24th May 2020 17:33

This was the bestest poem you have ever .... e v e r

Hang on what the!

This poem is rubbish the worse you have ever come up with.

Po Norfuck and proud on it.

I told my mum and sister about this she agree n all.

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