I can’t believe people think I’m sexist
Everyone has opinions even on Brexit
It’s really unfair just because I’m male
So that is why I’ve penned this tale

So, do as I say woman, but not as I do
Why are you dressed like that?
What the hell is wrong with you?

Tone down the way you look 
And stop buying all those bags
When you go out with your girlfriends
You all look like a bunch of slags

Being jealous and possessive 
is what you accuse me of
Well that may indeed be so my dear
But no reason for you to run off

Yes, I like a pint with the lads
And a bet on the old gee gees
But, in any case you belong in the home
to wash up and make my tea

There’re different rules for me you see
I’m male, and that is true
No one else can look at you 
But I can do whatever I choose

Bring back spit and sawdust pubs
With a men’s bar and a pool table
With the little women chatting away
In a girl’s room whilst their able
Anyway, must dash right now
Because I’m very, very busy
I need to check your mobile phone
Your movements make me dizzy

I have to send some friend requests 
To keep any admirers away
Have a look to see what apps you’ve got 
In case you’ve been on the old eBay

I’m not that bothered really, about who you know
well not much, as long as they remember
they can look but do not touch!

When it comes to election time
It really gets my goat 
When wives vote differently to men
which cancels out our vote

In closing I’m reflecting now
in case I’m being biased
Against every woman in this land
But no, us men are the highest, right?
Can’t understand why people think I’m sexist?
(Written as satire, with no time for such people)