Over time,

What you knew before

Is replaced

With the knowledge you have now.

Thoughts slowly change,

New ones come and go

As well as people.

As time keeps on ticking.

The difference

In those around you

Is significant.

They change drastically

They change slightly,

Or they're not there anymore.

Your focus

Is thrust upon

A new subjec...

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Pain shining

As tears fill her eyes

Taking the spotlight

Stealing from

The stars

That used to shine.

Her twinkling lights

Faded.

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Tomorrow will come rather than today,

That has already passed.

Overmorrow,

The day after tomorrow,

Will come as well.

So, forget the trifles from today,

As tomorrow,

You begin again.

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Drops slowly,

Streams quickly,

Flows quietly,

As I cry silently.

Suffering,

In silence,

Suffocating in tears.

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Who am I,

To question your heart,

Or what you want?

I couldn't make you change your mind,

No matter how hard I tried,

No matter how much of myself,

I gave over to you.

It never was enough.

So if your heart lies elsewhere,

Who am I to judge?

But who are you,

To string me along,

To feed me lie after lie?

Acting all the way,

Until you...

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I can never truly feel good enough.

It's like there is a thousand stones,

Weighing me down.

Pushing me down farther,

Deeper into the rivers I cry.

Rivers filled with the tears,

Of  feeling such immense amounts of self hate.

I'm tired of feeling broken.

Just when I begin to pick myself up,

I shatter.

Falling apart once again.

You can tell me how much you w...

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With doubt we drown.

In dreams we desire,

The will to rise,

The need to find our fire.

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Pain seeks out to me,

As I watch those,

Who surround me,

Live happily.

I all too knowingly,

Understand,

That I never will be,

As they are now.

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You are beautiful in your own skin,

Nonetheless you refuse, 

To look within.

Your tears filled with questions,

Wonders of why,

You're not thin enough,

Pretty enough,

Why you don't look like all the others.

Still,

You wonder about,

All the reasons that make you cry.

With societies standards,

Forced upon your fragile soul,

You are bound to break.

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In pale moonlight,

She bathes.

Letting ocean waves,

Crach and break against her.

With each forceful hit,

A piece of her,

Strippped away.

Her demons, the sharks, have come to play.

Each bite.

Each cut,

Pierced her skin,

Until there was no blood left to bleed.

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Your eternal grasp,

Captivates,

And holds me down.

My ground shattering,

Constantly shaking.

Due to you,

Forever breaking me.

With your twisted games,

And wicked lies.

Now my soul only cries.

My mind screaming,

Begging and pleading.

Wishing for its sacred peace.

To be whole again,

I wish.

My body, soul, mind, and heart,

Have reach...

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Dancing in fields,

Of strong- willed,

Wildflowers.

First alone,

To broken,

Heart beats.

Then spinning to,

A lovers tune.

With an affectionate laugh,

Accompanying all the way through.

With giggles,

Wide smiles,

And racing heart beats.

For the lovers,

Dance,

Sing and play.

'Til sunset,

Draws them apart.

And leaves,

Wil...

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The pain is far too much to bare,

I doubt anyone will care.

I lie to myself,

Just like I lie to everyone else.

They all won't understand.

They'll think it's pretend.

Only everone's lined up,

Single file.

Waiting for me to let them in.

That might take a while.

I'm petrified,

I'm terrrified.

What if they only want to,

See how messe...

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Pain is like a drug,

A cigarette slowly burning out.

It starts to fade away at first,

And you find yourself wanting more.

It's intoxicating,

Addicting,

Breathe taking.

It's that one more can of beer,

Or another Rum and Coke.

Sip them down one after the other,

Just like lying to your folks.

It's just to easy.

It's every bright smile,

To cover ev...

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No longer do I have happy thoughts to hold,

They all ran away, 

Only the ruthless and cold,

Will stay.

I try to chase them all away.

They're always there,

Floating around in mt brain.

Screaming,

Yelling,

I'm coming out to play.

Now every day fades,

Into dark starless nights.

They come and go,

In the blink of an eye.

I search,

I hunt,

I...

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Please let me in,

My demons begged.

This will be good for you,

My demons bargained.

I will not fall again,

I will not let you in.

You will not diminish me,

And I will not lose myself.

A very tempting offer,

I must refuse.

Only good for the moment,

Then I'm gone the next.

So my demons,

May you be gone.

I will not be forced to run,

And find...

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Candles lit,

Flickering and illuminating,

The grief heavy room.

Such grace she had,

Lying still.

Cold.

Motionless.

...Until it was too late.

What shame,

She had so much to live for.

A shame,

They didn't know the troubles,

That lie beneath.

Goodbye.

In shaky letters,

Written by tired hands.

Her last note said.

A glass near ...

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Prison guarded gates,

My walls are built  high,

Nearly impossible to penetrate. 

Only you waltzed right in,

Without problem,

Without doubt.

A grand entrance,

You danced into my mind,

And hovered by my heart.

With a silent escape,

You slipped right through.

Thinking I,

Wouldn't miss you.

This tore my heart though,

Not in half,

But in ...

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The color of pain,

Surrounds me.

Such a color,

A blazing white rage,

Fills my eyes.

As the sweet taste of happiness,

Fiils up others.

To me,

It is, anything but sweet.

Such a bitter taste,

Happiness leaves.

But how?

How such a color fills me with pain?

Weighing me down,

Pelting me with iced rain.

And how?

How such a taste so sweet,

Is on...

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I should have read the contract.

I didn't know,

That loving you,

Would mean,

Losing myself.

If only I read the fine print.

Only I was already off with a sprint,

Racing towards you.

I tried to run away,

Only it was to late.

I fled with all I had,

Which wasn't much,

But just a tad.

A tad bit left,

Of myself,

Of my soul.

I didn't know,

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Reasons why?

Some reason,

Any reason,

Please take your time.

I have every long day,

And every cold night,

To wait.

Every change of the season,

Every passing holiday.

If we must,

I have all the days.

I only wished to know,

Simply, why?

Why must you lie?

You wasted my time,

All of it spent.

Every last penny,

And every last dime.

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Trouble maker,

Heart breaker,

Oh Mr. Player,

You set your eyes on me,

A single thought,

Beauty.

Another conquest,

A rather simple test.

That is what I am,

To you.

May this be true?

I believe so.

My only though,

Was oh.

It was only a matter of time,

Your only goal wa,

To steal my heart,

And call me yours,

A few simple words o...

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Watch yourself,

Little girl.

You're swimming,

In the deep end now.

Don't travel too far,

Or swim too deep.

You'll find yourself,

Knee deep,

Stuck in tar.

Suffocating,

 Drowning.

The waters creeping up,

Crawling down.

Stop thinking,

Stop feeling.

You'll dig too deep,

Ending up,

Putting yourself to sleep.

Go now,

While you ...

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Time.

One minute,

One second,

It's bountiful.

Time.

It's beautiful,

Then gone.

One minute there,

the next,

You're wishing for more.

Time.

It's wicked,

It's cursed.

There at first,

Then on the run.

Time.

Always on the hunt for more.

Time.

One minute,

One second,

It's endless.

The next its dragging,

It's weighing y...

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Spreading her wings,

She wants to fly.

Only she finds herself to be,

To scared to try.

For her wings have been bent,

All of her time spent.

Oh how she wished to soar,

Throughout the night sky.

She had tried once before.

Maybe this time she could.

And maybe this time she would.

Spreading her wings,

She wants to fly.

And this time,

She fi...

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For I must have the answers,

To all your problems,

Your prayers,

Your questions.

Must I know such things?

Must I be your keeper,

And your guard?

For I am the one,

Who has watched over you.

And I am the one,

Who has kept you safe.

Only to come to,

And to realize,

My freedom was within my reach.

I wished to grasp it.

Take hold of it wi...

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The stars may be shining brighter than ever.

Truth be told, 

You are the only star,

I see in the dark.

You found a way in,

Broke through the walls,

Now I can begin,

To love again.

I have found my life long friend.

My rock,

My anchor,

My ride or die.

I will try,

Although,

You may not want me to,

I will tell you everyday,

That you are be...

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This is the beginning,

At first the world is spinning.

Every step I have taken,

There is a chance I have fallen.

Tomorrow will be something new,

Yesterday I flew,

Today I shall soar.

The day will end,

My wings begin to bend,

Sadly this is goodbye my friend.

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Hidden beneath the mask,

An escape from my past.

To hide from,

To run from,

All that try to find me.

What they precieve,

It is not truly me.

They only see the carefree girl,

A smile that could last,

For a very long while.

Underneath the mask,

Lies all the troubles,

The troubles that haunt me.

All the while, 

They only see me smile.

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Do you remember the days where it was just you and me?

All that mattered was us. Now all you care about is yourself.

Walking back and forth, screaming and shouting. Always pointing out my imperfections.

Do you ever stop and take a moment to look at your own reflection?

Can't you see that you've changed? don't you see... you're hurting me

It used to be us against the world. Now it's ...

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You want to see me cry. 

Tears roll down my face. Not roll but escalate.

Room flooded with tears and I am trapped. drowning in my own sorrow

A black sparrow lands on the windowsill. "Come take me away!" Free me from this life that I now choose to fill with hate.

I can't take it anymore, need to escape.

Need to be embraced, assured that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hope...

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