Warfare rages, blood pressure races, worry lines etch into our faces

Predictability always soothes

So we turn our glaikit eyes to you

A saviour decked in red, white and blue

Be our hero, Mr Twee.

Crashing chords in minor keys

Experimental creativity

Please god - spare us all of these!

For our stilted minds cannot compute

Unfamiliar jarring tunes

Blandness is the ...

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Please keep on the grass

Smoking allowed

Nine people in this lift

Play your music loud

Please play ball games

By the entry sign

No speed limit

No closing time

22 units every week

Leave open the gate

Don’t sign in on entry

Stay out until late

Please unfasten your seatbelt

This will be an unpleasant ride

Don’t say I didn’t warn you

Chris...

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