You would be doing me a favor

that I find impossible to gift myself.

Less death since one could say

my soul passed away

a long time ago,

Silently.

Like the serenity I long for.

No, not non-existence,

just

silence.

I scream a cackle into the 

cushions of my sofa

as the irony coats the inside of my mouth.

I must have

deserved

the ranci...

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I slink around in my one-bedroom apartment

wallowing in my loneliness.

It feels like everyone who I have ever loved has

absconded from my grasp.

Shockingly,

they all fled in their own unique fashion.

Some moved away.

Some I moved away from.

Some turned out to be different

from whom I thought they 

ought to be.

Some transformed into something more

sinister

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