Funny (Remove filter)
;
I try, try, try as I might,
But every time I use a semi-colon;
There's a 10% chance of it being right.
(How did I do?)
Thursday 28th December 2023 10:10 pm
PASTIMES
Yes, a mandatory retirement age in Congress
I believe it's time has arrived
We will base the age on FDR's fireside chat
And if you heard the broadcast live
Friday 28th July 2023 7:05 pm
IT'S THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT
The earth's temperature will increase 1 degree this century
For climatologists this is the sum of all their fears
It was 15 to 18 degrees hotter on earth for the dinosaurs
Then again, they only lasted 200 million years
Friday 21st July 2023 6:17 pm
TRIPPED UP
Made arrangements to go away for my anniversary
Which then did render a thought
Does my wife really enjoy vacationing with me
Or am I her last resort
Friday 16th June 2023 7:46 pm
AN OLD FRIEND
At age 80 Harrison Ford makes another adventure movie
I guess the storyline is acceptable
Although, Indiana Jones can now only enter caves
If they are handicap accessible
Thursday 8th June 2023 3:31 am
STOP SIGN
Georgia, when submitting digital driver's license pictures
Please wear clothes when due
The word mirror should be the only time
We use phrase, rear view
Wednesday 31st May 2023 7:00 pm
HARD TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT
Displayed on my dentist office wall, "A smile is a whisper of a laugh"
I quietly sit there in intending doom
It is meant to be a soothing thought
While screaming seeping from another room
Wednesday 24th May 2023 8:28 pm
SIT STAY REST
Bobi the oldest dog in the world just turned 31
Still his favorite thing to do is to ride in the car
Also loves to bark at children to get off his lawn
And he'll fetch bones if he remembers where they are
Thursday 18th May 2023 2:52 pm
OVER THE HUMP
Great Britain has a terrible squirrel problem
Now animal control blames budget cuts
British scientists working on a contraceptive pill
Since trying to neuter them, is just nuts
Wednesday 10th May 2023 8:19 pm
ATE FEET AWAY
Did you know that octopus can run on land like a cat
Now I know people like their taste
But what ablout betting on them in a speed contest
Now that is a real arms race
Wednesday 3rd May 2023 8:10 pm
ROUND-UP
The Flat Earth Society is looking to grow in popularity
Althouigh their ideas you may scoff
Going to the ends of the earth to find supporters
Since membership has fallen off
Friday 21st April 2023 2:51 pm
NOTHING TO SNEEZE AT
Unfortunately, there is a large doctor shortage
New medical students, just not there
Especially proctology, gynecology, ears, nose and throat
There are several openings here
Wednesday 19th April 2023 3:44 am
Tuning Fork
I lay the knives, sharp, on the table, flat.
Notes of cinnamon and spices should keep the tempo light,
As I conduct the kitchen, for my dinner party tonight.
Knock knock, they melodically rap upon the door,
I go to greet my fine guests, yet moments before,
I turn back from the handle, for I'm not so sure,
Which of the four seasons should delight my decor?
To choose only one,...
Tuesday 28th March 2023 1:19 am
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