I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Parliamentarian: Election May 2010

with apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan:"Pirates of Penzance" " I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major General"

 

 I am the very model of a modern parliamentarian,

I've information on Iraq and even on Afghanistan.

I've met the Queen of England and can quote our fights historical,

From Thatcher, Blair and Brown in order categorical.

 

I'm very well aquainted with all matters mathematical,

 I can cheat on expenses and costs hypothetical.

About the state of Britain, I'm teeming with a lot of news...

Lots of cheery facts about, about, oh, dear, you choose!

 

Still in matters dodgy, greedy or unethical

I am the very model of a modern political.

 

I know the proletariat, though I don't get too familiar,

They've average jobs and minds and all seem, oh, so similar!

From nurses, teachers, dustbin- men I greet and shake their hands

But in truth I'd rather smile in print from their  news-stands.

 

I hope to be acknowledged by the party, speaker and the whip,

 I can redact and spin, censure and occassionally even quip.

I can look sincere and use sound bites,

 Bang on about human rights.

Still in matters dodgy, greedy or blantantly unethical

I am the very model of a modern political.

 

Yes, in matters dodgy, greedy, especially an election,

 I am the very model of a modern parliamentarian.