Untitled (cold water)

gray skies loom overhead,

fog entrenching the air -

seeping from high clouds down

into hard surfaces of the Pacific,

fine particles of mist

dancing along her ferocious waves;

 

powerful 

                                yet soft

 

they twirl around her in laughter,

delighted to have found a friend -

she churns in response,

her fierce swells quelling into soft laps

crooning like gentle lullabies.

 

sometimes, all it takes is a little kinship

even under the gloomiest skies

to tread icy water, part gray clouds,

conquer fears of hiding behind darkness.

 

sometimes, it is possible for sunshine 

to not only radiate brilliantly 

from above, but also from within.

◄ Olive

gobbledygook ►

Comments

Emilia Callahan

Sat 26th Oct 2019 15:02

Thank you! Yes, I can see where you are coming from though. We do look at the same ocean 😃 Hawaii is very beautiful. Your friend is very lucky!

Rick

Fri 25th Oct 2019 13:46

It is really a very good poem. S. Cal eh? I had a friend from Oahu so made a false assumption - ho hum ha ha

Emilia Callahan

Thu 24th Oct 2019 13:39

I actually live in Southern California! Thanks for your comment, Rick 😃 I agree it could be more grounded in reality. I had a hard time garnering the inspiration to write this piece, and I feel like that's why.

Rick

Thu 24th Oct 2019 10:40

I have no schema for improving this however I try to 'ground' a piece with a name (of a protagonist) or a place - this moves a poem from the ethereal into 'reality' (or what passes for reality').

I sense you might live on the Big Island or somewhere - and a little Aloha, Honolulu is always welcome 😃

Emilia Callahan

Wed 16th Oct 2019 13:55

This is not my best work. If anyone has constructive criticism I could use to transform this into something better, I'd appreciate it 😃

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