we argue about the give and take

it's upsetting that i can't stay awake

and afterwards when you're not here

i can't get back to sleep my dear

i think about the things i could have done


and the words i should have said

now that you're not here to hear them

they're doing cartwheels in my head

◄ Sometimes

awake ►


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Eiren Water

Tue 1st Oct 2019 11:33

You honour me with your rhyme
and that you took the time.

So now from this yank
to you
my gratitude, thanks, Hugh!

e. xxx

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Tue 1st Oct 2019 10:54

Great poem,short but full of meaning and that last line I'm lost for words.Oops no I have found some .

They're doing cartwheels in my head,
Moving words I should have said.
Under my pillow they do creep,
Constant reminders,disturbing sleep.
Smothered words I should have said,
Doing cartwheels in my head.

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Eiren Water

Tue 1st Oct 2019 10:22

Thank you so much, John and Adriana, for your comments. It means so much to me.

e. xxx

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Adriana de los Angeles Diaz Rizo

Fri 27th Sep 2019 20:15

"They're doing cartwheels in my head." Brilliant!

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John Marks

Fri 27th Sep 2019 12:12

"Brevity is the soul of wit."

Shakespeare, 'Hamlet'.

Pithy Erin, very pithy! John

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Eiren Water

Fri 27th Sep 2019 06:23

Thanks Don and Dot! Appreciate the support.
💕 e. xxx

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Don Matthews

Fri 27th Sep 2019 05:08

I like the last line 'they're doing cartwheels in my head'....

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