i don’t know who numbed love for me first

 

was it when you took it from me and gave it to someone else?

was it when my someone else was just in need of a warm body?

maybe it was when i saw that all you’d feel for me you’d already felt 

 

was it when i realized bed sheets and everything in between

were most always misused, and all vanity?

was it when i realized when i love i mean something entirely different

 

was it when i realized i had lost that ability?

 

it was when every new person didn’t feel like you,

but then again neither did you

 

it was when the tears rolled down my face,

to which you said, 

“why are you crying” 

how could you be crying. 

 

it was when i said 

“i care about you”

to which you left a blank page, 

and then left

without trying 

 

it was when love felt less like medicine and more like crippling addiction 

less like a home and more like this portrait depiction 

 

it was in when in losing you, i lost so much more