In charge of poetry readings (aloud)
Also if chosen I would insist on the following that:
1) Speakers have a full head of hair.
2) Speakers are under 30 years of age.
3) Speakers are are NOT allowed to put a finger in their ear.
4) Speakers are only allowed to give a recital when there are 50+ people in the room.
5) No group fotos are allowed.
6) No shirts outside trousers are permitted.
7) No checked shirts of any description are allowed.
8) No hippies.
9) No ladies to wear clothing past their sell buy date.
10) No flamboyancy.
11) Ladies must NOT wear cheap perfume. (a sniff test will be done to ensure that this rule is STRICTLY enforced)
12) I will do the sniffing.
13) No items of poetry whether written, on tape, or electronically produced will be allowed whether sold or given away.
14) No fuckin encores.
15) Socks must be worn with footwear.
16) Audience members must not check their watches, yawn, or shift uncomfortably whilst a poet performs.
17) No American style 'whooping' nor 'your the manning'.
18) Flatulence must be negated by the swift use of a lighted match.
19) That 'stay-behinds' are encouraged.
"I am available for children's parties by the way"
words and foto THC