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Everything- An Etheree

The hermit worships at the mountain top

He prays at the doom below his feet

bellows loud to hear his echo

and sings dirges to the gorge.

A muffled commotion

slowly wakes him up

tambourines, lute

His suave bride

“My sweet

love

come!"

Unclench

that creased brow

shed that black cloth

the mourner's garment

break the solemn silence

clad yourself in white my love

Her words like lotus cordial- drunk

he starts to dance under the full moon!

Stomping his feet to the tambourine's beat

 

He leans back softly, his weathered face calms

he takes her hand and joins the parade

the troupe escorts them to the church

a different place of worship

a different reverie

His gaze fixed at her

Yet his mind’s eye

Still locked on

Doom.

 

"Sing!"

He cries

and jumps up

he joins the band 

The music path leads

From love to nostalgia

to loss, to pain, to heartache

until he's caught weaving a lament

as if back at the sacred mountain top.

 

"My voice is a howl out of the abyss

my lira shrieks like a raging wind

my frail heart knows no joy, no bliss

within dwells a vicious fiend

rivers swell with my tears

rocks crack with my moans

the passing years

nibble my bones

til I'm

nil."

 

“Son!”

are you

not happy?

Have you not found

everything you sought?

He nods to the band, “Cease”

"Everything! I've Everything! "

"Then why mourn, today of all days?"

Today more than ever I grieve, for

I have everything! Everything to lose.”

etheree

◄ I Loved And Loved- A Triolet

M15tak3s- A Whateverette ►

Comments

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Mae Foreman

Mon 5th Aug 2019 19:54

I don't quite get the trousers thing but it sounds comic! Makes me smile! ?
Mae

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Jason Bayliss

Sat 3rd Aug 2019 12:40

On the Jack and Jill thing?
I learned this one when I was a youngster.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a roll of cheese,
Jack came down with a smile on his face and his trousers round his knees.?

J. x

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Mae Foreman

Wed 31st Jul 2019 22:02

Rather a sullen lonesome guy, a solitary non believer who found salvation in love. A tumultuous man who found his zen at the last place he expected! And at the moment he did that inner turmoil calmed. (A bit!)
He's an actual person too! Went to his wedding just the other day!
Thanks fish ?
Mae

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afishamongmany

Wed 31st Jul 2019 21:27

Mae - The Etheree is a non rhyming form. Well done a good read. Each verse also stands alone so you can claim to have written 6 Etherees.
Think he was a glass half empty sort of Hermit? ?
><>

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Mae Foreman

Wed 31st Jul 2019 10:26

Normally I'd encourage you to go to rehab myself but it's a sweet-sweet addiction this one! Keep it up !?
Mae

Though Jack and Jill
would like to chill
in the end they will
go up the hill

Though Jack and Jill
always go up the hill
Don Matthews will
use his mad skill
to make them wheel
and roll downhill!
Isn't it about time
We upgraded that rhyme?
So do go on!
My dear friend Don!

Thank you ?

Mae


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Don Matthews

Wed 31st Jul 2019 10:09

Mae I put myself
In so much bloody pain
Trying to upgrade Jack and Jill
Who down the hill they came

Don your bloody hopeless
Although your rhyming's fab
You're overloading system WOL
You need to go rehab

He's hopeless Mae.....

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Mae Foreman

Wed 31st Jul 2019 09:57

Thank you dear Jason! I'm enjoying the process!
Dear Don! I tried to make it rhyme after I'd finished but it was very difficult to do it and at the same time keep it from losing its strength and meaning which came in that fateful epiphany-type manner. You don't mess with that! Plus, the verse with the song which is the only part that rhymes would have had no effect at all! Plus, plus, I'm not the awesome rhyner that is Don Matthews! ?
Thank you both! ?
Mae

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Don Matthews

Wed 31st Jul 2019 00:09

Golly gosh almighty
Whatever's going on?
Ether this and ether that
Can you do this Don?

Nah- it don't rhyme......

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Jason Bayliss

Tue 30th Jul 2019 22:55

This is extremely good Mae, watching you grow as a writer is like watching a flower come into bloom. Excellent.

J. x

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Mae Foreman

Tue 30th Jul 2019 22:32

Thanks Devon! It's like I'm learning English all over! I love it! I'll stop by your profile with a new form suggestion!
Cheers?
Mae

Devon Brock

Tue 30th Jul 2019 21:52

Dang, Mae, this is great and everything counts correctly. Nice work. On to the next challenge!

D

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Mae Foreman

Tue 30th Jul 2019 20:21

Thank you Branwell! ?
Mae

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branwell kent

Tue 30th Jul 2019 20:16

very clever and very good

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